Inner growth involves learning how to love and forgive each other and ourselves, and the life we are in is the raw material for this learning. In my own life, I have come to see that the way I learned most was through the way I acted and reacted to those close to me. Relationships can be messy, complex and confused. They can also be toxic. But they are the way we find out who we really are. Our family members are our mirror, however dysfunctional our family unit may be.

I have found that my spirit guides have helped me to understand my own family relationships. The main relationship that they helped me with was my marriage. So many times they helped me to see my partner’s point of view. If you are with someone who is very different from you, this can be a big help, because it’s tempting to put all the blame for everything on your partner, but the guides are always fair. They helped me to see that I was also difficult to live with!

If your ego finds your partner difficult, your spirit guides can help you to get in touch with your heart. Then you may find you have a different reaction and a different perspective. The ego always wants to win, but the heart just wants to love and be loved, and to this end, it is ready and willing to forgive and understand.

If you are having issues with your partner, your children, or any family member, you can ask for help and guidance from your spirit guides. Even if you can’t hear, see, or feel your guides, they can hear, feel and see you. At a deep level, they understand you and know what you are thinking. But they stand back, and they won’t come directly into your life until you ask them, they wait to be invited. One way to ask for their help is to write them an invitation, with a request for help with a specific issue. The invitation could be worded something like this:

‘Dear Guides,

I invite you into my life. Please help me with the following issue:

I am worried about my (son, daughter, mother, sister, husband etc). I do not understand what is going on with them. I no longer seem able to communicate with them. I worry that they are depressed/anxious/taking drugs/ drinking too much/ starving themselves/ lonely etc. Please help me to understand their situation and help them.’

I suggest you write out your invitation and put it next to your bed under a crystal or a pebble. Read it out loud before you go to sleep, and when you wake up.

Then see what happens. The way the guides operate is subtle. They will be helping your family members, but they will also be sending streams of light down to you. They will be sending you their intelligence, their vibration, and their love. You may find that certain things occur to you in the following days, that you have not thought of before. You may find new insights, and new perspectives, and see new sides to your loved ones. You may also find that your family member is more receptive to communication and meaningful contact. This could be because of the guides' influence on them.


Our spirit guides do not wave a magic wand. Sometimes we will learn through struggle and difficulty, and through suffering. The guides will not take away the learning opportunities we need. But they can help a great deal in opening up channels of communication, helping us to understand the other side of certain issues, the parts of ourselves and others that we do not see.

You can also ask for blessing and healing from the angels that surround your home and family. If you want help with a specific issue, you can ask the angels to bless a particular family member. They are particularly active around children and infants, they are busy protecting and caring for little ones all day long.

Now that I am a grandmother, I ask healing angels to look after my grandchildren. Every night before I sleep, I say a prayer with healing intention for each of my four grandchildren, and see a circle of angels around their cot or bed. I see the angels sending light down to each sleeping child. Occasionally if the child is having problems of one sort or another, I mentally put a note on the child’s pillow, asking for help. They can provide their gentle, radiant help and tender healing to every situation you ask about. But you do have to ask. I think the angels of the home and the angels of each child are waiting to be invited in to help. They stand guard, but if they are invited their help becomes more dynamic and noticeable.

The main lessons we are learning in this lifetime concern our relationships with others. Learning to be tolerant and accepting, and learning to love and forgive are the lessons that help us grow and mature as human beings and as souls. Our family relationships can be difficult and complex, but we can invite both our guides and angels to help us in this area. They can shed light in so many ways, and help us and our families to grow closer and to thrive.

From ‘Evolving with Spirit-Working with Guides and Angels’ by Caroline McCutcheon.


Caroline McCutcheon is a writer, healer and medium who lived for fifteen years in a small village in the Algarve.  Four years ago she moved with her husband to the Alto-Alentejo. To read more about her, and her work go to:

Caroline McCutcheon