With its warm weather, spectacular beaches and reputation as a friendly and safe destination, Portugal has long been a top choice for those seeking a calmer pace of life.

From retirees to young families and digital nomads, thousands have been drawn in recent years by the promise of a year-round mild climate, attractive visa options and a lower cost of living compared to other parts of Europe or the US.

And while Portugal undoubtedly delivers on the promise of stunning coastlines, great food and wine, and a laid-back atmosphere, the reality for many new arrivals can carry a hidden psychological toll.

Beneath the idyllic idea of starting a new life in the sun, there’s often a quieter, more difficult truth — one shaped by loneliness, anxiety and the unexpected weight of culture shock.

Major life shift

Relocating isn’t just an extended holiday — it’s a major life shift. But many newcomers underestimate the emotional burden of being uprooted from a life where everything is familiar.

“Moving countries is a huge change, and it takes a couple of years to really feel settled,” says Inês Moreira Rato, a systemic psychotherapist working in Lisbon. “It’s important to build some sort of community. But meaningful friendships take time.”

For non-Portuguese speakers, adjusting to life here can take longer than expected. While locals are often friendly, expats frequently struggle to form deeper connections. Language barriers can exacerbate feelings of isolation, particularly when navigating bureaucracy and healthcare.

The transition can also bring unresolved personal issues to the surface. “Even though the sun is out, the same issues will appear,” says Chris Thomas, a therapist who has worked in Portugal for 18 years and is now based in Cascais. “The weather distracts people for a while, but eventually the shadows come back.”

Moreira Rato says she often sees clients who arrive seeking a slower, more meaningful life but underestimate the challenges. “People idealise coming here and are often surprised at what comes up,” such as relationship difficulties, addiction issues and unprocessed trauma, she says.

‘Bored, dissatisfied, lonely and resentful’

This gap between expectations and reality can be especially challenging for accompanying partners, often women, who find themselves untethered from previous roles or identities.

“Men often seem much happier,” says Thomas. “But women often say, ‘This is not the life I expected.’ They feel bored, dissatisfied, lonely and resentful. Some gave their lives to raising children and now feel lost without that central role. They miss the significant relationships they had back home. A lot of women are left drifting.”

Writer and psychotherapist Mary Fowke, who has more than two decades of experience working with expats in Portugal and sees clients in Lisbon, says a key to avoiding isolation is making a real effort to integrate.

“One of the biggest pitfalls is not becoming enough a part of the new culture to understand it sufficiently. That lack of cultural awareness can lead to real misunderstandings and conflicts,” she says.

‘Living the dream’

Struggling to adjust often creeps in gradually. People may feel irritable, overwhelmed, or nostalgic. Low energy, sleep disruptions, changes in appetite, or a sense of feeling emotionally adrift are common. The pressure to feel happy because you're ‘living the dream’ can make it even harder to admit that things don’t feel right.

This can lead to a cycle of anxiety and avoidance. Daily tasks such as making a phone call in Portuguese or booking an appointment can trigger a sense of dread, stress or helplessness. Some respond by withdrawing or feeling a sense of failure. And when life looks good from the outside, it can be hard to acknowledge that something’s wrong.

“There can be a sense of shame,” says Thomas. “People back home say, ‘You should be happy! I’d love to live in Portugal,’ but that just makes it even harder.”

People may turn to drinking, overeating, or other coping mechanisms. Those who are prone to depression may find it hard to stay afloat without familiar support systems.

Relationship strain

Struggling with relocation doesn't just affect individuals — it can put serious strain on relationships. Couples often underestimate how much a move can disrupt their personal dynamics, routines, and the way they share responsibilities. “Some couples hope the sun and leisure time will bring them together,” says Thomas, “but instead, it can highlight a lack of connection or unmet expectations.”

Fowke notes that many women want more of a “team relationship” at home and suffer disappointment when their partners aren’t sufficiently present. Parenting dynamics can also shift, and some expats report feeling distanced from their children. Other people struggle to maintain connections with family back home as infrequent visits strain ties.

Seeking help

Accessing mental health support in Portugal can be challenging, especially for newcomers. Navigating the public healthcare system can be daunting if you don’t speak Portuguese. However, there are now far more English-speaking therapists and social attitudes to seeking help have shifted. “There’s still stigma, especially for men,” says Thomas. “But it’s changing. More people are reaching out. Being overseas sometimes makes it easier to take that risk and seek help.”

Online resources can provide a helpful starting point. And for those who feel that talking to a professional would help, many English-speaking therapists are now available either in person or online.

Every reason to thrive

Looking after your mental health should be a key part of planning when starting a new life abroad – not just something to consider once you’re struggling. Good sleep, proper nutrition, movement and exercise are all important, as are getting outdoors, connecting with old friends and forming new, meaningful connections.

Recognising warning signs early – such as changes in mood, sleep patterns, energy levels, motivation and appetite – can prevent things from spiralling. Seek support, either through family or friends, WhatsApp and Facebook groups, expat networks, local meetups, or by seeing a trained therapist. Support is always out there.

“It’s not at all easy for an expat in a country where your first language is not understood and you’re not sure about how to access help,” says Thomas. “One of the biggest things is recognising that it’s okay not to be okay.”

For anyone who has dreamed of starting afresh in Portugal, that dream can still become reality. But acknowledging the emotional strain of relocating can help you find the support you need before issues become too deeply rooted.

“There’s every reason to thrive here,” says Fowke. “But don’t wait until you’re in crisis. Think about looking after your mental health as a central part of building a new life, not just something to address when things go wrong.”

James Hossack is a therapist working in Lisbon and Cascais. He is the founder of Green Door Therapy (www.thegreendoortherapy.com). He has lived in six countries over the past 25 years and understands the challenges involved in building a new life abroad. He is registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).